There’s nothing quite as deflating as sharing the details of something you consider a success with someone and having them analyze it so much that it turns into your worse mistake ever.
Instead of congratulating you, they feel it is their duty to point out the “missed opportunities” in your success. As in …
“You total ass, you could have done so much better!”
You ran 5 miles? You could have run 10.
You baked a chocolate cake? Next time make it carrot.
You lost 5 pounds of fat and gained 15 pounds of muscle by sticking to a consistent weight training program? OMG, you just gained 5 pounds! And while I’m thinking of it, you better keep lifting weights because your strength will turn to flab next time you even look at a slice of pizza.
People do it all the time. They think it’s their responsibility to show you where you went wrong. They justify this by saying they’re doing it to help you. So next time, you will do that much better.
OK so being better is a good thing. But for crying out loud, can’t you just feed a person’s ego just a little bit and rejoice with them instead of knocking them down?
“Do you have any idea how hard I worked my ass off to get this done?” you wonder.
And that’s precisely the point. They do know the amount of time and effort it took for you to succeed. But they’re too comfortable and lazy — perched high atop their throne — to do the same. And instead of rejoicing and working hard to achieve their own successes, they knock yours down until you become an obedient bride tempered by psychological torments.
Instead of rising to meet you at the top, they weigh you down and bring you to their level of status quo.
Next time you find this happening, stop, breathe and congratulate yourself for not giving in to the temptation of joining the “You could have done so much better” crowd.
Don’t ever give anyone the power to take the joy of your success away from you. Because that, my friends, is the definition of an epic fail.