Who were you with? How long did it last?
How’s that for getting someone’s attention?
Shock value is one of the best ways to force a person to speak their truth.
And there’s nothing better than asking questions out of the blue to elicit the most truthful responses — the ones that help you to peer deeply into someone’s soul — and create the greatest intimacy.
But intimacy goes beyond sex.
I may or may not want to have sex with you, but I definitely want to know you better. That goes especially for those who I consider to be my closest confidantes. We can always grow closer than we already are.
Asking questions is a powerful tool for growing closer. The questions, however, must go beyond the surface in order to get to the truth you seek.
Do you believe in God? requires a yes or no response.
Do you believe God is a man or a woman? forces the person to pause before answering. Chances are, they’ve never been asked that question before.
But, while the most powerful questions go beyond the surface, they don’t have to be deep, soul-wrenching or spiritual. They can be, but it’s not a requirement.
Imagine, for instance, you’re with a group of friends on a Friday afternoon after work having your favorite adult beverage. The conversation is getting pretty standard, everyone bitching and complaining about how much they hate their job, their boss, their life.
Suddenly, as the waitress brings another round of drinks, you turn to one of your table mates and ask:
“Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask you, ‘When was the last time you farted under the sheets and then stuck your head inside to catch a whif?'”
After you finished cleaning up the drinks the waitress has spilled all over the group, make eye contact with the person and wait for their answer.
I guarantee it will be one of the most memorable happy hours you will ever have — one you will be talking about for years to come. One everyone will remember because you dared to ask something better than, “How was your week?”
Here are a few more questions to help put life into your next gathering — whether it’s a gathering of 100, or a one-on-one with your partner or best friend.
- Did we know each other in a past life?
- What do you think happens when you die?
- Do you pee before or during your shower?
- What’s your biggest regret?
- The last time you ate your boogers, do you think someone saw you?
- What has been your greatest success?
- If you were to commit suicide, how would you do it?
- If you killed someone, what’s the first thing you would do after you realized they were dead?
- If you suddenly found out that a hidden camera has captured every moment during your past week, what’s the moment for which you are most embarrassed?
- Are you ready to die today?
Create a few more of your own questions and have them ready. Have fun with it. If done right, you and your friends will laugh and cry, sometimes simultaneously, during this truth-finding mission.
But unlike the game of “Truth or Dare,” demand truth. Don’t let anyone get off easy by providing a dare — an out from answering honestly.
What are you waiting for?
Shock someone today. Start asking.
But be prepared to start answering as well.