Life Is Terminal

A newly-released scientific study from the Journal Of Doctors Whose Purpose Is To Scare The Living Daylights Out Of You has concluded that if you do anything long enough or often enough it will kill you.

Forget whatever previous studies by renowned scientists around the world said about anything. Right now, somewhere in a laboratory in a country you never heard of, another group of scientists and doctors are proving the exact opposite.

Take exercise, for example. We all know it’s good for us, right? Well, not so fast. According to researchers at the Emory University School of Medicine in Georgia, “sporadic exercise of any type might increase levels of bad cholesterol. Short bursts of activity either had no effect on cholesterol or made it rise.”

I’m sure you can remember a time when something as benign as milk was an excellent source of calcium, phosphorous, magnesium, vitamin A, vitamin D and helped you build strong bones. But it turns out that whole milk, the stuff we used to down by the gallon as kids, is high in saturated fat and a common cause of food allergy. In fact, many people have what’s called lactose intolerance, which causes bloating, gas and diarrhea.

It’s a good thing you’ve got those strong bones because you’re going to need them to make those constant runs to the bathroom.

While doing research for this article, I did a Google search for things that are supposed to be good and bad for you. Here are a few highlights of what I found.

Alcohol can be good for you, but it can also kill you.

Being thin is good, but being thin can also be a sign of a deep-seated emotional problem.

Being overweight is unhealthy, but too little fat in your diet is also unhealthy.

Drinking water is good. Drinking too much water is bad.

Herbal supplements are good for you. They are natural and completely safe. Herbal supplements are not safe because they aren’t regulated like prescription medications.

So, who should you believe? How about the expert who lives inside of you? Your body knows what’s best for you and it has the wisdom to let you know when something isn’t.

This is wisdom my dog taps into every day. Her idea of exercise is to sit on the couch and sleep all day while buried under a mound of blankets. Yet she manages to maintain a buff little body with no fat whatsoever. Perhaps she knows that exercise is good only if you balance it with rest – rest that will prepare her for the hour of squeaky toy catch that awaits her when I get home.

Have you ever have a bad hangover the day after a night of drinking red wine? Red wine is supposed to be good for the heart. But one glass of the stuff is enough to make my head feel like it was hit with a giant torpedo the next morning. It’s my body’s way of telling me to find something else to keep my heart healthy.

Don’t let anyone dictate what’s best for you. You already know.

Moderation is your best defense against whatever the experts say is bad. And it’s your best chance at enjoying life without paying the consequences.

After all, in the end, no one gets out alive.

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